Murdered by my Father

Who doesn't like to review films?

It is what makes up so much of youtube, people ranting about their favourite movies and TV shows. I love to do that too but my first review is going to be on something I never thought I'd talk about.

Honour Killings.

'Murdered by my Father' is an hour and fifteen minute long film on the BBC about a young woman who is murder by her father in an honour killing.

What was so striking about this film to me is its turning on its head of my own perceptions on these types of murders. When you think of the kind of man (or woman) who would kill their child for these reasons, you imagine a strict, fundamentalist with no compassion in their heart. The character of the father in this film couldn't be further from that. He is a basically loving and gentle individual whose main failing is that he cares to much about what people think and lacks some distinct back-bone.

The family is comprised of a father, a daughter and a son. Now we can all imagine how hard it is to bring up children by yourself, arguably even more so if you are a man. The daughter is a bright, young woman who just wants to make her own way in the world but still understands the realities of life. The father is not your stereotypical patriarch, in fact he encourages her in her education and genuinely seems to want her to be happy. He can be domineering a times though, like when he asks to see her phone, but hey, at least he asked.

The story is pretty simple but still engaging. The daughter is promised to this man her father works for, who somehow manages to be both domineering and pathetic at the same time. He seems no more than a boy who like to play at being the big man. Naturally Salma (the daughter) is not to keen on this match but she has already been promised so too late to back out when her old boyfriend comes back into town wanting to start things up again.

You have to give Salma a lot of credit here because she tries to go through with match and be happy for her father's sake but I think that just makes it worse. If she had said no sooner it might not have been as big a deal. Obviously I don't know how these things work but that is not the point of the film. I don't even know what religion these people belong to. In fact I don't see anyone in a state of worship once in the entire hour and fifteen minutes. The characters are Asian but above that I don't know.

And that is the genius of this little film.

Because Honour Killings are not a religious issue, they are a cultural one. The family live in a very tight knit little community in London, (I think. Again not specified because that's not important either). Everyone knows everyone's business and people's opinions can effect your life and if the community says that running away from an unhappy marriage is dishonourable then your life is over in that community. Not just yours but your family's too. I don't think I've ever seen a subtler or more powerful image of this than a woman across the street closing her blinds as Salma tries to escape from the window of her house after her father locked her in.

What this film shows brilliantly is that victims of Honour Killings don't come from strict, unhealthy or cruel families. They come from normal families like yours or mine. It is the attitudes that her different but not only the attitude of the killer but of the community he/she comes from.

At the end we are told that 12,000 cases of 'honour-based' violence have been reported in UK since 2010. These include abductions, beatings, and an estimated 60 murders.

These are not JUST the fault of the main perpetrators, they are the fault of the community in general and they are not going to stop until outdated cultural (not religious, cultural) attitudes are abandoned.

Salma ends the film with, "Love makes us kind if we let it," so all people in these situations need to do is let their love be more important than what other people think.

Nothing in the House?

When you are so use to your parents (and by parents I mean your mum) making dinner for you, you are kind of stuck when you're on your own.

I asked my brother to pick me up some ribs from the Chinese take-away. I had a miserable walk home in the rain expecting some tasty ribs and when I got home ... nothing.

What to do?

Well, last Christmas (despite my awful cooking skills) I was allowed to make the sprouts and what I did was:

• I boiled them for 5 mins
• sliced then thinly 
• and fried them in bacon bits

This took about 15 mins. Through it two slices of bread and butter and I got a SEMI-healthy supper that is very tasty. Even the people who hate sprouts loved them at Christmas. 

So there you go. You come in at 7:30 at night, soaking wet and there is nothing in the house, raid your freezer.